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The hate comes first

Journal Entry 2

“It’s not like you’re the head of Barclays” was the comment a friend made after I just did a favour for them recently. Now their intent was not to be malicious although the comment itself is condescending. I wasn’t offended because I view people through there intent, delivery and patterns. The reason this comment stood out for me is because it captures the sentiment I have experienced throughout my career and particularly with this chapter of running my own business. The idea being it’s not like you are someone “important”. The casual dismissiveness that shows the value that is placed on the end of the journey and not the beginning. One of the principles in life that I have always applied is, conceal your intentions. Why? Not everyone needs to know everything and certainly not at the same time. I take my time in assessing and when required testing people and their character. When they show me who they are, I believe them. I pay close attention when they are under pressure and when something positive happens for me, that’s when raw, unfiltered and sometimes subtle behaviour comes out. The comment although casual, was another indicator that I am on the right track. I have had a few lately.

Another indicator came when a stranger told me to “Shut the F*&k up” and I smiled. So Tara and I were giving our opinion on the Miseducation and Malarkey Podcast about Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj. This person clearly didn’t like what I had to say, so he told me to “Shut the F*&k up”. Now most people would have probably been upset or offended about that. I wasn’t, in fact it made me happy, not the disrespect but the action. Sounds strange but it made me happy because I know the trends of my life. Whenever I am about to break through, whatever shape it comes in, be it a barrier, deal, whatever, the “hate” comes first. Now this was not the first time someone has tried to put me in my place, I could write a dissertation on that and it won’t be the last but the timing confirms to me that I am moving in the right direction. The other reason I was happy is because my company is doing what it says on the tin. Whatever, I produce is meant to make people feel. That emotion may be anger, inspiration or confusion. As long as people are feeling then goal achieved.

In just a few days, we will have the first screening of Get Out. I am excited about this. I designed and edited some marketing videos for it; which I am very happy about (example below). My editing skills have been improving. It takes time and it is very tedious work but I enjoy it. It’s the same with the Miseducation and Malarkey videos that I post, I have to go through 40 minutes of content to find 60 seconds that captures our discussion. Our latest episode is, Are inter-racial relationships a cautionary tale? So imagine trying to find 60 seconds on that! This has been a week of tech for me, doing videos, updating my websites, the journal look and feel. When I say I am a geek people usually laugh but it’s true.

That is what I love about this chapter, I integrate so many facets of who I am and share it with the world unapologetically.

p.s. I would love for you to join me for the Get Out screening next week.

Sabrina

insta:@Sabrina.2032

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